Small changes, positive results…

So, we are 4.5months (but who’s counting) into our new family unit, and I can say that for the most part, we’re doing good. For those of you who don’t know me well, I am a proper organiser. Every minute of the day is just about accounted for. And every week (sometimes weekS) is planned down to the last detail including “what-if” analysis where I don’t know specific details upfront!

Anal, I know, but believe it or not, that’s one of the qualities that has stood me in good stead to face the transition into single parenting. Not only does proper routine benefit the kids, but it also makes me feel more grounded, and that’s exactly what I need right now. The emotional and mental strain is stressful enough without still having to worry about what’s for lunch, how I’ll get the boys home (you’d think with both being in the same school, it’s easy to align their after school schedules but it’s anything but), or which meetings I have to forgo or move out in favour of being a mother.

This is not to say that there are no fun times. I’m very conscious about not always being the “boring parent” and I don’t want my boys only to experience the “military mum”, but what I’m learning is that even in the thick of the busyness of our lives, there are little things I can introduce to make life in general more fun and easier for both myself and the kids.

So I thought I’d share some of these over here. [By the way, one of the biggest things I’m learning right now is to let go. But that’s a whole other post for another day!]

  • Fun Food Fridays…last week Friday, I officially added this into our weekly routine after giving the kids Tinkies and hot drinks for breakfast. It achieved two things – they ate breakfast in record timing (this is an issue for Riley just about every morning, he takes forever to eat!) and they were more in a “Friday mood” after having the opportunity to take it easier and have “military mum” relax a bit too. This week, I plan on making pancakes for breakfast and next week I will maybe buy mini waffles or ice-cream. Yes, it’s something extra I have to factor into my grocery shop (and I’m already cringeing the morning I miss the mark here!), but for now, it seems achievable 🙂 And no, this will not become an every morning thing as I firmly believe in a healthy bowl of cereal for breakfast, but what’s one day?!
  • Gadget Wednesdays…I’m not sure how this started on a Wednesday, probably a random incentive I added after having a particularly hard morning, but it goes like this…if the boys get done early, they’re allowed to get onto devices to play games before leaving for school. In reality, they literally have 5 MINUTES to play, as the morning routine is already quite tight in our house, but it means I don’t have to keep shouting – get done, we’re going to be late, hurry up, don’t forget x, y, z. The rule is simple, you can only go online once EVERYTHING is done, and so far, it’s working so well, that Riley very kindly asked if he could do it on Monday this week, and boy child got done so fast, he had a whole 15 MINUTES to play. Happy child = happy mum.
  • Camping in mum’s room…in the first month we were on our own, the boys were very attached to me, and found comfort in sleeping in my room. While I have a queen size bed, 3 of us all in the same bed together is disastrous, and definitely not condusive to a good night’s sleep especially for me who already sleeps horribly! So I came up with a sort of compromise. We pulled in one of the 3/4 bunk beds from Riley’s room to the floor, and one child would get mum’s bed, and the other would get the floor. We did this only on weekends so one child would get Friday in the bed, and the other Saturday…fair and square. I stopped this from being an every weekend thing after just over a month, mainly because getting a bunk bed off the frame is a mission of note, let’s not even talk about getting it back up!. But what I realised is it’s really something so small, but has a massive impact on the boys both mentally and emotionally. So while we no longer do that every weekend, from time to time, I let them do it for fun, and I can tell you that even Ethan – who’ll be 11 soon – loves it!
  • Swimming at the gym has become part of our weekly routine. The boys both swim for 30minutes on a Wednesday afternoon, and Ethan trains for 45minutes on a Friday afternoon. I’ve now taken this time for myself to gym as well. If the kids are done before I am, they can either stay in the pool, get out, dry and come and find me and sit by me while I finish up my last 5/10 minutes of exercise, or sit and watch TV or surf the net on the computers available in the gym. The key thing I’m trying to make them learn here is that mum also needs time to focus on MUM, and learning to give me some space is also allowing them to become more independent. The fun thing I try and do on a Wednesday is use my Discovery Vitality points to get us all smoothies FOR FREE when we leave the gym after exercising. [Side note: now that they’re part of the gym, it also means that if we’re free on the weekend, they can go and swim while I gym which has been a bonus over the last few weeks when it’s still been cold. My kids love to swim and the water in our complex pool is definitely not summer water yet!]
  • Eating while e-sporting…Ethan has e-sports online as a school extramural at home every Monday and Wednesday from 6 – 7pm. During this time, he logs onto Teams and follows a full class and sometimes tutorial, and after the session, he usually meets with his team to continue building on their project. Initially, I tried to co-incide this with Riley’s homework or some TV etc., but I’ve found that Riley actually enjoys listening in. So these days, Riley usually eats his dinner while joining Ethan on his call and…mum sits by herself with her dinner and a glass of wine and enjoys 30minutes of alone time 🙂 #bonus We still wrap up Riley’s reading and get him into the bath before Ethan gets done, but it allows Riley to join in Ethan’s fun as well.
  • Impromptu spoils…this is a hard one for me firstly because I really don’t want to raise spoilt brats, but also because of financial constraints. But from time to time, I give in. A few weeks back, Ethan casually asked on the way back from school if we can go for McDonalds and I said YES. You would swear they had won the winning lotto numbers. All the way there, they were like – no, you’re lying, you won’t – and then BOOM, mum pulled through (remember, I said I’m learning to “let go”…this is one of those times…going against the planned routine). One Friday after swimming, Riley asked if he could have a Steers burger. We were walking past Steers, the burger was R20, so yeah, mum made it happen. On another weekend, we walked into a toystore browsing when Riley spotted an English Premier League sticker collectors book and asked me to buy it. He’s absolutely obsessed with soccer and I don’t think he’s ever had a stick book. The pure joy it bought him was really incredible, and it was inexpensive and a great find on his part.

You know when they say it’s the little things that count, they surely are right, especially where kids are involved. All of the above fit very comfortably within our normal day to day routine, but just these small gestures change the dynamic in the house, they make the boys happy, and what mum isn’t happy when her children are?!

On being your own self…

Yesterday, my little guy took part in the Spelling Bee final and he came SECOND in his grade!!!!

Proud as punch 💕

I won’t lie, I was shocked. I know that Riley is very bright, but he’s lazy man. I may have mentioned this before. In grade R, the principal told me he’s super smart, but he’s going to be that kid that needs to be constantly pushed, and boy was she right. We are more than half way through grade 2, and homework is a mission every single day! Before we even start the work, it’s – I can’t find a pencil, why do I need to do all of this, teacher said this is only for next week so I’m not going to start it now – and it goes on and on and on. Homework that he could typically do in 15minutes usually takes at least 30minutes. And most days, he lays on some serious procrastination vibes, and you will find me shouting at him to just get started, because it’s almost dinner time.

He is that kid who would much rather play outside till the sun goes down than look at homework, and I guess I can’t blame him. But hey, in life, we don’t always get to do what we want to do right?! Anyway, I digress…the competition was made up of 4rounds. The first two rounds included words from a list that they were given with their report cards at the end of term 2, and the next two rounds consisted of unseen words. My shock was largely based on the fact that Riley literally started looking at the word list Monday last week. We managed to go through about half the list during the course of last week, and the balance was done on Sunday evening! I just felt like he was not focused enough, and where I know his spelling is really good, I don’t know, I did not expect it to be that good. [Side note: the first thing he said when I picked him up is that he’s never washing his hand again because the principal shook it!…how cute]

One of the first things he asked me after I collected him was whether Ethan, as in older brother Ethan, had ever won a medal in the spelling bee before which he hasn’t! Riley was extra chuffed with his achievement when I told him that. As we all know, no two kids are the same – even siblings aren’t – and comparing them constantly is not ideal for either of them, but I find Riley doing that a lot. Ethan is a good all rounder. He excels at academics as well as at sport, and I often find Riley downplaying his successes because he thinks Ethan is better. Remember, Ethan is 3years older than Riley, and Riley started big school during COVID. So where Ethan learnt to swim prior to grade 1 and played sport he’d never done before like hockey and cricket when he started school, Riley did not have that opportunity. In fact, Riley went through most of grade 1 not doing any extra-murals as the school were not offering any to the younger kids. He was never taught swimming strokes. Fortunately, he could swim prior to the pandemic, whereas most of his peers started school last year not being able to swim at all because well, for 2years, nobody went to swimming lessons. Ethan has played most sport on offer at school for the last 5years, and given the 3year age difference, is obviously better than Riley is! So he’s the one who’s on every team, he received a sports award last term, he is in squad training etc. I keep telling Riley he’ll get there, but it’s also ok if he doesn’t you know? It’s not a must to be good at sport. I am trying to encourage him to be his own self. At a minimum, I want him to do at least one sport a term…this is important to me, as Riley does not naturally gravitate to sport, whereas Ethan does, and I truly believe that it’s important for kids to do sport especially at their age. But I certainly do not mean for Riley to do sport and then compare his performance to Ethan’s. Neither do I expect that for academics. What I do expect is that he always tries his best and that he’s putting in the effort!

I guess it’s not so easy to stop him comparing himself to his brother. But maybe what is key, is to keep on celebrating Riley’s successes and encouraging him in everything he does!

Currently

Ola! It’s been aaagggeeessss….but here I am, proof that I am still alive and kicking. Let’s just say that the past few months have been an absolute roller coaster ride. Single parenting is not for sissies, but I think we’re settled now and dare I say, I don’t feel as exhausted as I did a few weeks back.

We have been sick on and off for weeks. It started with COVID. Soon after, the kids got the flu and then Riley and myself got some or other virus. I think I’ve taken almost 3weeks of sick leave in the past 3months. This week Monday and Tuesday I’ve had some serious sniffles, but working from home today and predominantly indoors has cleared me up quite nicely and I’m feeling right as rain.

The boys are at dad this week, so maybe that’s also contributing to the right as rain feeling 😉 Like I said…single parenting is hard y’all! My folks have been here on and off for some time, and that’s really helped not only from a help around the house and with the kids point of view, but also just from a mental and emotional perspective. My mama is like my best friend and my dad is very much the voice of reason in our family. Having them around has been so good for us, and proof that God really IS in the detail. I don’t think I could have navigated this season without them.

School holidays came at just the right time. Man, term 2 was B-U-S-Y!!!!! Both boys brought home excellent reports and were just as relieved as their mum to put the brakes on the mad rushing around of everyday life and move into holiday mode. Last week, they were just home. They had one or two sleepovers and spent time with family and friends. Next week, I’ve booked us into a resort in the Drakensberg for two nights, and then we are moving onto another resort with my folks for three nights, a trip that was planned many months ago. I haven’t been to the Drakensberg for ages and am very seriously contemplating doing – no TV games, no online games, no phones – while we’re there. I’m just not sure who’ll suffer the most! My dad (remember – the voice of reason) just reminded me tonight that the rules given for the kids do not have to apply to me as well (read: mum doesn’t have to lose her device too!)… I am the ADULT. Not so sure how that’s going to go down with the boys, hahaha.

On the entertainment front, we read such a lovely book for bookclub last month called Well Behaved Indian Women. I gave it a solid 5 out of 5 stars. It was a book that I felt like I could climb into bed with and read all night. I read Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers straight after, and man is it beautifully written! I’d never heard of it prior to the movie being released recently, and a work friend telling me about it. She bought me the book and it’s been on my shelf since my birthday in March. I read it in a few nights via battery operated light with a glass of wine and the gas heater during loadshedding last week, and I am looking forward to watching the movie to see if it does the book any justice. The boys and I have been following The Amazing Race (Season 32) on Disney Plus and we are absolutely loving it… I think I love it more because the three of us can watch it all together. I watched The Hustle on Netflix and found it very entertaining… Adam Sandler was the most “normal” I’ve seen him in a movie in forever! I’ve also been following Grace and Frankie – thanks to Marcia. I am already on season 3 and while I don’t find it to be the best series I’ve ever watched, it’s definitely entertaining. We watched Top Gun at the movies last night – would totally recommend it – my heart was in my throat in all the good parts and I had to remind myself to breathe at times.

I started my new job on Monday, and after being really nervous over the last few weeks to step into this role, my first few days have been slow but great! In the few meetings I’ve been in, I find that I feel confident when I speak and I am very keen to hit the ground running and start making a difference in my teams’ day to day lives.

Anyhoo, that’s enough about me. I’ve missed this space and I hope to get back into the rhythm of blogging more, but unfortunately, I can’t promise anything!!!

Adios xxx

How SICK is sick?

I overheard somebody at work last week complaining about people using “COVID symptoms” as an excuse not to come into the office. Currently, we have to be in the office in person three times a week, unless of course you’re not well. Now to me, this makes perfect sense. We’re still in a pandemic, COVID is still rife at the moment and has been spreading like wildfire. I would rather somebody stay at home if they have symptoms, and if they are well enough, work from home. If they’re not, then put in leave. This person was saying that because it’s so easy to say – not feeling well, have symptoms – as a manager, they are going to get their staff to go to the doctor and get a COVID test because they don’t think the excuse is good enough or rather, people are going to take more and more advantage of it. And it got me thinking…is one not allowed to feel ill? Like what happened to the days when you were under the weather and could call in ill? I know that our company policy says we’re entitled to two days sick leave without a doctor’s note. If you’re off for more than two days – or on a Monday or Friday – a doctor’s note is required. Has that changed since the pandemic? Have people just continued working unless they were dying? I am not the kind of person who feels off-ish and takes the day off. I must be almost dying to actually call in ill. But I’ve often thought about this, even pre-COVID…why is it that people need to be literally dying before they take a sick day off? Is it a product of how we were raised, how our immediate colleagues behave, or a result of our manager’s management style?

Ethan is home sick today. Yesterday morning, he woke up with a croup cough. I’ve mentioned it before and I’ll say it again – I struggle to decide whether my kids are sick enough to stay at home, especially because I have the added luxury of being able to work at home now which I never really had before. So if they’re off sick from school, I don’t have to make other arrangements, I can just stay home with them. After breakfast yesterday, he got up and got done for school, so I was like – obviously, he’s well enough to go, and I left him to get on with it. When I collected him from soccer yesterday afternoon, he really felt rotten. He complained that his cough was still there, he’d been battling to breathe while running, he had a headache and he was really feel vrot. He spent the rest of the afternoon indoor under the covers studying and watching TV. Last night when he went to bed, he was still feeling unwell. I medicated him hoping that today he’d feel much better. He had a really bad night and woke up feeling even worse this morning. His croup cough had eased but he had a chesty cough, he was looking really unwell, complained of a sore head, and his nose was running. So well, I let him stay at home. He did say he wanted to and that he wasn’t feeling well. By 8:30, this child was looking much better. I haven’t heard one cough since then! Thankfully 🙂 I’ve even been asked – much to my annoyance – if I want to play a boardgame with him!! The neighbour’s boy, on the other hand, wasn’t feeling well this morning either (I know this because she told me when I walked Riley over as she was lifting this morning). She told me he had a horrible cough but that he must just be strong and get on with it and, much to his annoyance, she was taking him to school as usual. Last week, her older boy wasn’t well and on the drive in, he told me how his mother never lets him stay home ever. No matter how they’re feeling. And this is somebody who works full time at home by the way. It’s not as if there’s nobody to look after the kids if they’re home (I’m not judging, just pointing it out 😉 ).

Anyway, I digress. My point is…am I being too soft on my children? Also, is being too hard on them at this age breeding adults who feel that they can’t even take a sick day off unless they’re falling apart at the seams???

How do you determine whether your kids are sick enough to stay at home?

Do you feel bad to take a sick day or do you feel entitled to it as per your company policy?

[Side note: on the few occasions I’ve actually decided my kids are fine and can just go to school as is, the school has called to say I must come pick them up which is the absolute worst for me!! If I come and pick you up, you better have a limb completely broken off or bloody oozing out of your body somewhere, hahahahaha]

Imposter Syndrome be gone!…

Imposter Syndrome: the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills.

Do you ever feel this way? I won’t lie – every now and again, I do. And this is in my current role. There are times when somebody asks me for assistance with or to explain something. Or they’ll call me for my opinion or to add my expertise…even to share my screen, draw pictures, give background on why or how something was done etc…and once the conversation is done, I catch myself thinking: how do they know that what I’m saying is for real, how do I know it’s for real, am I sure that I’m right??? [Side note: I am not afraid to say that I don’t understand something…this is one of my pet peeves at work…people pretending they know when they don’t!] And that’s how I’m feeling about my new role right now, even before having stepped into it. Like, have they made the right decision in hiring me? Am I the right candidate for the role? Do I really know as much as I have told them? Will I be able to cope on my own? Can I manage such a big responsibility? And then I’m reassured by the colleagues I’ve shared my news with. The feedback has been along the lines of – this role is perfect for you, you deserve this, you are a good candidate and you’ll do great, you’re more than capable! *A round of applause for myself at this stage please*…why thank you 🙂

Although I only start my new job on the 1st of July, yesterday I was invited to attend the teams’ Quarterly Update meeting followed by drinks. I walked in feeling extremely nervous. Although I’ve been in the bank for 11.5years, the area that I moving to (which ironically is where I start all those years ago) has changed drastically, and I’ve been completely out of touch with that side of the business since moving to IT 2years ago. Not only do I not know much about the business, but the team has changed up a lot. I know less than two handfuls of people, and at least half the team are still in their 20s!! The manager put the “People Update” somewhere in the middle of his presentation, and the entire time he was speaking, all I could focus on was that section, as I knew that was when he’d introduce me. I felt anxious the entire time, and when he eventually came to me (there were a few announcements he had to make around other movements in the team first) I (yes, ME), felt so shy, I could just about smile and couldn’t get a word out of my mouth. I could feel that my cheeks were blood red and I was squirming in my seat with all the attention. Even he himself said he’s never known me to be shy, but I think it was a product of not knowing a lot of people and feeling nervous about my new role!

Anyway, it was a quick introduction and then he moved on. But afterwards, I got a chance to socialise over a drink with some of the members of the team. And I don’t know if the drink was the “liquid courage” I needed, but once I got talking – about my current role and then what I’ve been tasked to do for the team – I felt my confidence grow. As I was talking, I was thinking, I CAN DO THIS, I’VE GOT THIS, I KNOW EXACTLY HOW I’M GOING TO APPROACH IT. I even had an old colleague in the team come up to me and say she’s so happy I’m part of their team, and she already needs help with xyz, and the beauty – as I said in my previous post – about being in the bank for so long and acquiring all the knowledge I have over time is that all my past knowledge, contacts and experience have well equipped me for this role. Yes, Imposter Syndrome may come creeping in from time to time but as the meme I saw yesterday said:

“If GOD’S BROUGHT YOU TO IT, HE HAS ALSO PREPARED YOU FOR IT”…#truestory

Some good news…

“Whoever can be trustedwith very little can be trusted with much” ~ Luke 16:10

I got a new job today! I wasn’t looking. Somebody referred me by name. Same company – the zebra, which I’ve always loved and still do all of 11.5years on – same division, but different department. I currently work as a business analyst in the IT department and while I’ve never wanted to work in IT, in hindsight, being in this position for the past two years has just nicely rounded off all the tools that I need in my new role.

Our pastor often talks about being in a job that you maybe don’t want to be in or don’t enjoy that much. He always encourages us to keep pushing as God will make a plan for you and after lots of prayer, patience and perseverance, I can truly say that I can see the fruits of my labour. I always say that I’ve never focused on my career but have landed up where I am per chance. You see, I have BCom Accounting degree, yet here I am moving into my career choice of Project Management (long story!).

In all the roles I’ve landed, at all three firms I’ve worked at, the one thing I’ve always done is to give of my best at all times. No matter how much I’ve butted heads with a manager or team lead, been unhappy with crappy work that I have no choice but to do, or had to work late nights and long days during the pandemic, I’ve always worked hard. I have good ethics and I am a perfectionist in everything I do. And this has come through loud and clear to the manager who hired me in chatting to previous managers and colleagues for references. They’ve all had such good things to say about me, and I can happily say that all the years of experience in each area within the bank will now pool together in my new role and enable me to be successful going forward.

I know it’s been a bit down and gloomy over here on this wee blog so I thought I would share a bit of good news.

As I keep saying…one thing I know for sure is that God loves me and that HE is in the detail! To new beginnings…

Questioning Decisions

When all becomes aligned in your world. When doors open that you never even knew existed. When other doors close… Know that God is making a way for you. Even when in your wildest dreams, you never imagined your life to turn out this way, know that He is in the detail. Hold on to His promises knowing that He loves you dearly and that He always wants what’s best for YOU… in His time!

All those dreams and wishes that you had that seem to be falling apart… They are not. He has greater plans for you, bigger and better than you could ever imagine. Trust Him, lean on Him, keep your eyes fixed in Him, listen attentively and He will guide you in the right direction. On the path that He has laid out for you. Don’t be afraid. Step into your destiny and shine!!

“For I know the plans I have to you, declares the Lord. Plans to proper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~ Jeremiah 29:11

I love you with all my heart!

I wish I could wrap you in cotton wool, protect your heart, keep you from hurting.

I wish I could explain my thoughts and my feelings more clearly, so that you would understand that not only is this best for me, but best for you as well.

I wish I could see ten or even five years into the future, show you that things will be better, show you how this decision is the right one.

For now, I want you to know how much you mean to me, and how every decision I make involves you, how I always have your best interest in heart.

I will be here to hold you, to wipe away your tears, to give you extra squeezes.

I can’t promise I will be perfect, or that I will be enough, but I will do my very best.

I love you with all my heart!

xxx

My tired is tired…

Is it December holidays yet? Asking for a friend…

Wow, 2022 is serving up the mostest on my side! Exhausted is an understatement, but this too shall pass 🙂

Other than two nights away with nana and gramps in the two week school holiday, the boys were just home. We did a few odds and ends, one or two outtings, but otherwise, they spent most of their time with friends and playing TV games. And for a change, I obliged. Not only because I was working, but because there are times when I realize that this is what the kids are all about these days…YouTube and Playstation, and soommmeee times, only some times 😉 I try not to be such a killjoy.

We – and by we, I mainly mean me, but it’s impacting the kids lives too – are going through some changes. We are moving into a new season. There have been lots of emotions over the past few weeks and this has definitely added to my exhaustion.

What am I doing for ME?! Well, I am doing the usual reading. I have been watching more TV than I usually do, but it’s been a good “switching off” tool for me. I recently celebrated my birthday and I spoilt myself with a half day spa with a friend and a pedi. I have booked a few days off at month end just because… I have no plans… and I am going for a massage then too. I have spent time alone in the library just browsing. I have had lunch on my own, friend dates, lots of time with my family and in general, just allowed myself to go through the feels. I am blessed with an amazing support structure, and am convinced that in all spheres of my life, God has placed me where I am to cope with this season. I know that I will come out stronger.

In other news, I honestly do not know when Maths became so complex. Grade 5 Maths… I am flawed! Ethan brought home some external papers that they did yesterday in school, and I don’t know if it was my morning brain, but I could honestly not comprehend just about every second question! Thank God Ethan has a Maths brain, and grasps these things perfectly well on his own.

Riley seems to have had a complete mindshift toward Zulu in the two week break, and spent some time reading his Zulu homework story – with full expression – to me yesterday while I cooked. It was so aorable. Zulu was a serious battle for him last term even though his term mark was really good. But doing homework was like pulling teeth… I am so happy that that seems to have miraculously changed!

Who else is looking forward to the next few short weeks ahead?! I considered just taking the whole month off – kidding – but I am definitely making the most of the time off, and am hoping to spend the weekends and public holidays in a combination of chilling and being social. So far I have a braai on the cards, a ladies dinner, a kids’ birthday party and a playdate for Riley. And I think that, dear friends, is quite enough.

Now that I’ve finished watching Season 2 of Bridgerton…what shall I watch next, any suggestions??

It’s okay to need help…

I often wonder if always being so strong, put together and collected is actually to my detriment. For the most part, my strength keeps me in good stead, but then there’s times when I truly feel like I’m going to breakdown and I actually feel like I can’t. Like…no, you can’t, you’re stronger than this. Not only for myself, but I often feel like people expect me not to break down because they perceive me as always being so strong. This applies not only to my friends, but even to my own family. I am always the happy, positive, smiley, jokey person, and where we all know that everybody has bad days, when times get tough, it is hard to keep up that “facade”. I find that it’s even harder to ask for help. And I know that’s a ME thing, but I’m just putting it out there. I’m sure I’m not the only one that feels like this!

Recently, I made a decision that in hindsight – looking back three weeks later – was probably the wrong one. And the reason I made the decision then…in my mind, I wanted to prove that I could do it on my own, I didn’t need help, I could be independent…and well, I had to backtrack yesterday because logically, the decision actually doesn’t make sense. And it’s been playing a lot on my mind since realising that.

I have to accept that it’s not necessary to always be the strongest. That it’s okay to need people, need support and need assistance. It doesn’t make you any weaker or change your character. It doesn’t mean that you cannot continue to be strong! And also, one wrong decision does not maketh who you are…