…no, we’re not living next door to Alice (although Alice is our new nanny’s name :-)) and I know we’re not living next door to Alice for a number of reasons…

1. We live next door to guys (well, the people next door to the people next door is actually who I’m referring to)

2. We’d be VERY fortunate to not know who the $%^& these guys are!

3. We’d be even MORE fortunate if a big limousine rolled up to pick them up and shipped them VERY VERY VERY far away!!!!

This is my twelfth year out of the my parents’ house.  I spent two years in res at varsity and then moved into a four bedroom house with three friends.  The following year I decided that I wanted to move out and was fortunate enough to have the pleasure of living together with my younger sister.  I have lived in quite a number of flats over the years and one thing that each flat has had in common is DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA!!!!! 

 In flat number 1, we had the pleasure (yes, you should be reading sarcasm here!) of living next door to about ten Nigerians (and I’m not stereotyping, they WERE Nigerians!) in a two bedroom flat, we had a gay couple downstairs who ended a screaming match one night only when the cops arrived and we had a couple in the complex next door who had such a big fight that the boyfriend tried to strangle the lady with his belt (the piece of “evidence” landed on the roof of my car which I pointed out quite proudly to the police when they arrived on the scene)…this is just to name a few things that happened at that flat.  At the next flat, a guy jumped over the wall downstairs in an effort to escape with the stolen goods from the property next door, the kids at the boarding school next door used to party AAALLLLLLLL night even in the week, my best friend was robbed outside the gate and Angelo’s car was broken into (this all in less than a year!!).  Fast forward to Jo’burg…our first flat was relatively calm besides the few noisy fights, some of these fighting matches were ours so I can’t really complain, hahahah.  Next flat, my car was broken into and the suspect fled over our wall with a gun.  For those of you who’ve never lived in a flat, you get the picture when I say they all come with drama…I will not go on and on ‘cos I could really go on for days with the stories that we’ve got from our “flat living” 🙂

After Angelo and I got married, we bought our current flat as an investment.  The complex has 182 units so there’s bound to be drama!!!  We have the old lady upstairs who’s constantly drunk.  She walks around in whatever she pleases, we’ve even seen her walk to the communal bins in a bathing costume or in her panty and bra in the rain nogal.  The unit next door to hers has had so many tenants coming in and out that we can’t even tell who’s Arthur or Martha.  Then the people on our left are a married couple with two kids, a third on a way AND a nanny all living in their two bedroom flat.  And on our right, we have two sisters who’s father, I kid you not, can be heard smoking and coughing up his lungs outside as early as 3am in the morning.  And then of course…there’s the people next door to them…

From what we can make out, there are two brothers and one of their girlfriends living there – the father owns the flat.  I’m not sure when they moved in but it’s felt like a lifetime.  These guys are CONSTANTLY drunk, they always have people over and there is always commotion.  This year alone…

…on new years’ eve, when everybody was finished with the crackers and parties, they start screaming happy new year and blowing up fire crackers at 4am!!!!!!!!  Angelo almost killed them.  Not only did it wake us up but it woke up Ethan as well and everybody knows that you must NEVER wake a sleeping baby. 

…a friend of theirs drove into my car at 7am on a Saturday morning and then proceeded, in his drunk state, to go back into their house to practise his “planking” on their couch while four drunk women who were apparently in the car with him when it apparently rolled (in a u-shape pattern I may add) into my car. 

…and then the latest commotion…on Saturday morning, 4am, dude decides it’s a good time to beat up his girlfriend so not only are doors banging and dude’s screaming, but the girlfriend is screaming at the top of her voice and crying and his friend (YES, YOU GUESSED RIGHT! THE DUDE WHO SMASHED MY CAR!!) is screaming for him to stop.  De ja vu, Ethan woke up AGAIN!  I was just about to go outside in my slippers and pj’s and give them a piece of my mind when my neighbour with the kids and nanny casually strolled past and told me that the security guard was there and they’re just drunk again (DUH!) and the guard is sorting it out.  I cannot for the life of me understand how guys as old as myself still get drunk every day AND go to work the following day (I can barely keep my eyes open after waking up with Ethan in the night) nor can I understand how inconsiderate some people continue to be even after numerous complaints. 

So, (to the tune of living next door to Alice) I wish that they were leaving, I wish that they would go, I have so many reasons but they obviously don’t know, it feels like 24years that I’ve been living next door to…dennis the menace?!?!

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2 responses »

  1. marissa de vries says:

    Hahahaha! Dennis’ neighbour! Time to think about a house maÿbe? Lol xxx

  2. Zelda Tate says:

    So the next time you move …. you know what to avoid. A flat!!!!

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