And so…Master Howe’s “big boy bed” arrived yesterday morning.  I spent most of the day calling around trying to find bed rails for his bed (because I have this serious paranoia fear that he’ll fall off his bed and break his neck) to no avail.  All the shops I called in the northern suburbs (remember, I wanted the rails for last night hence the restricted search) are sold out.  I called Baby City even after going in and being told on the weekend that ALL their branches are sold out, just in case.  I called other baby shops, Toys ‘R’ Us, Game, Dischem…I even called BUILDERS WAREHOUSE ‘cos let’s face it, they generally have EVERYTHING a person needs.  A million calls later, I discovered that the only supplier of this item is waiting on a shipment that hasn’t come through yet and the earliest date I could get a commitment to is the end of June which obviously doesn’t help me at all!  So I decided to go ahead with the bed as is and just pad the floor with pillows and blankets and hope for the best.

So I get home last night and Ethan’s all chuffed about his bed.  I wanted to make a lot of hype about it hoping that the excitement would make him more at ease.  Now I wasn’t being over optimistic and I didn’t think that the bed would be the answer to all our sleeping problems, but like I said before in this blogpost, desperate times call for desperate measures, I’m at a wits end and I’m now trying everything and I’m seriously hoping that the bed will assist in improving Ethan’s sleeping.  Having said that, I’ve dealt with the bad sleeping for close on a year and a half now and I was not expecting him to sleep through the night on the very first night (okay, maybe I did say a little bit of a prayer hoping for a miracle!) and I had braced myself that I’d probably have to jump into bed with him and appease him some time during the night, but nothing could have prepared me for what I was subjected to last night.  There’s either something seriously wrong with this child (I’m taking him to the doctor this morning just in case, remember, desperate times!!!) or he is on a war path and is determined to make my life at night a living misery. 

Bedtime rolled around, his usual 8pm sleep time and mister was bouncing with excitement to sleep in his new bed.  He grabbed his dummy, his teddy and his botty, kissed me goodnight and after I tucked him in, he fell asleep all on his own.  When the hubster got home from soccer, I told him how cute the whole bedtime thing had been and how I had been holding my breath waiting for him to start crying but the cry never came and we sat and marveled at how big our boy is getting!  That “cuteness” lasted all of an hour.  Ethan was up crying at 9pm.  This has been happening for WEEKS.  I don’t know why but it’s getting old now (maybe I’m not communicating this clearly enough to my child!!!).  I gently patted him back to sleep and the hubster and I got back to watching series again when he woke up again not even 20minutes later.  To cut an extremely long recollection of what our night was like…let me break it down in plain, simple, torturous English time…Ethan woke up about 12times crying last night.  I even jumped into bed with him and slept with him at one point and that made absolutely no difference.  He spent the night moaning and crying.  At one point, I asked the hubster to lay with him.  For some reason, he laid on the floor with him on the pillows and blankets I had put down and 10minutes later, I heard Ethan open the bedroom door and the pitter patter of little feet as he walked around the house in the dark while the hubby…was fast asleep on the floor!  I have no idea if it’s because of the bed but I’m seriously hoping not as if that’s the case, we have a veeerrrryyyyy long way to go.  I’m hoping that this morning, the doctor picks up that there’s something wrong with him (‘cos let’s face it, at least if you know there’s something wrong, you can treat it and hopefully that will cut down the 12 wake-ups to only…10??!!!) or he gets used to that bed in lightening time! 

I am shattered this morning, defeated, exhausted.  I am a fantastic picture of a walking zombie!  I’ve run out of ideas and what kills me more is that I can’t understand how this child is not as exhausted as I am!  He’s still having his usual 1.5 – 2hours nap during the day, no longer, and even if he misses a nap altogether, he sleeps no better at night!!  I feel like I’m seriously failing on the mothering side and at times, I do wish that I had just done the “tough love” thing like the nurse and so many friends and colleagues suggested, ‘cos a year and half later, I have run out of ideas and am tempted to just sit and watch tv all night so that at least I’m awake when he wakes up and my sleep isn’t interrupted ‘cos let’s face it, I’m actually have zero sleep at this moment of my life.

At any rate…two more sleeps and we’re going to Durban where I’m leaving Ethan for a week with his nana and grandpa.  I’m seriously not expecting miracles in the sleeping department – in fact, I don’t think that nana knows exactly what she’s getting herself in for – I don’t think that he’s going to come back and be a perfect sleeper or that the change in routine will help him along, but I’m looking really looking forward to the break.  I need to sleep!  I need not to get up in the middle of the night 100times.  I need to get into bed and not have to get out until my alarm goes off.  I am tired, finished, exhausted, there are just no more words.  Fortunately, I get to see this cutie every afternoon and he really is an angel (despite all my ranting and raving which may make it sound otherwise)…when he’s not sleeping 🙂  Love you boy xxx



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