…they said. It won’t go on forever they said. Eventually he’ll grow up they said. And boy were they right! I look at my kids every day and I honestly cannot believe how quickly they’ve grown up.
Ethan was a bad sleeper from day one. We did all the textbook things that were supposed to make him sleep better. We made sure the room was dark, that we stuck to a night time routine that “made him tired“, that we rubbed him out as a baby after bath time and as he got older, that we read to him and sang to him to make him sleepy and know that it was bed time. We even tried the “tough love” thing, but I just couldn’t. So I gave up my sleep for three and a half years, afterall, I was the one who chose to have a child so I stuck it out and do you know what’s so funny? It obviously passed and I cannot even remember those nights when I paced the passage sticking his dummy back in, or laying with him or cursing that my child wasn’t that child who slept through the night for 12hours from the age of 6weeks old, or praying desperately that God could just give me one nights’ good rest. In fact, I recall saying on numerous occasions that God had such a funny sense of humour because on nights when I desperately prayed about the sleep thing – those nights turned out to be the nights that he had the worst.sleep.ever!!! And now look at him. Boy child goes to sleep with few issues – okay, he’s 5! he has those annoying bed time things like calling for 100things that he suddenly thought about at 8:05, 5seconds after I said goodnight and walked out the door – and sleeps through the night with no issues. He’s still an early riser but how many kids aren’t?! And in the middle of those sleepless nights when I had an hour or two sleep and I came into work with red eyes unable to keep my eyes open, and I’d have to work a full day and go home and cook and spend time with this child who was wide away who I knew would be up all night again for the umpteenth night in a row, I felt like there was no end in sight. I thought I’d die from exhaustion. I thought my life would never be the same again. And it’s not!
I’m still constantly tired no matter how much I sleep. It doesn’t matter that Riley slept a million times better and that from a young age, he was that perfect sleeper – 7am – 7pm from the age of 6weeks or so (okay, it only lasted a few months, but we tough loved it out and it only took a total of 2nights and he was sleeping through…textbook child 🙂 ). It doesn’t matter that we can drop a bomb in the house and these kids will not move, because well, I’m a grown adult! A wife, a mother of two small kids and a career woman – and my tired may not be the tiredness of them days with a baby who didn’t sleep well, but my tiredness is that tiredness that I think that most adults experience. The tiredness of juggling a house as well as a job. That tiredness of budgeting and splitting yourself across 4,000 different things in one day.
Yes I’m tired, and I’ll probably always have some sort of degree of tiredness. But for those “new mums” battling with real baby issues – this too shall pass! I know it doesn’t feel like it in the moment, but time really does fly and before you know it, you will be in a new stage of tiredness 🙂