Those of you who know me will know just how much of a control freak I am.  I like to set goals (even if they’re in my own little head space that nobody is even aware of), and I WILL achieve them, come hell or high water.  In fact, the hubster often says that these goals are going to be the death of me not because I am so obsessed with achieving them, but in his opinion, I set such high goals and expectations of myself, that it’s virtually impossible for anybody to achieve them i.e. they’re unrealistic!  Once I set my mind to it though…I’m focused.  Like the jogging that I’ve taken up – it’s the 11th week now (but who’s counting, hahahaha).  I’ve been running three times a week and exercising on top of that – squats, lunges, sit-ups etc.  I go after work twice a week and once on the weekend.  If I can squeeze in another run in the week, I do.  But then this past weekend, I didn’t go.  Saturday ran away with me as did Sunday and when I did get the gap, I was so exhausted, I just couldn’t go!  He was like – WHO CARES???  Ease up on yourself.  If you don’t feeling like going, don’t go.  But it matters to me guys, it matters to me!  And although nobody is there holding me accountable, I hate letting myself down.  Anyway, I digress, as usual!!  My point is, I’m a self proclaimed control freak and letting go, even if it means giving myself a little break, is hard work.  But in the last few weeks, I’ve at least managed to slowly let go of something that I’ve held on to for soooo long…

COOKING! 

I love cooking.  I love being in the kitchen, trying new things out and even cooking old time favourites but most of all, I.LOVE.MY.OWN.FOOD!  I really do.  I can eat a meal that I’ve made and comment on how amazing my food is all by myself, without needing confirmation from anybody.  Food is definitely my favourite thing in the whole wide world!!

With both boys being at school for most of the day, our nanny P obviously has oodles and oodles of time because guys, we DO NOT live in a mansion!!  Even with both boys around, she manages to clean the house in like a day.  So can you imagine what it’s like when she’s alone at home?!?!  I’m sure she probably has the other domestics over for tea just about every day (it explains where my sugar is going to 😉 ) and I wouldn’t be surprised if she catches a snooze midday well, just because!

Anyway, I decided at the beginning of the year that because she has so much time, she can start helping me out in the kitchen.  She was keen, I was keen, and so the instructions began.  Just cooking my rice, pasta and popping things into the oven was already saving me time and it still meant that I could cook the food myself (after the kids went to bed the night before the meal, I would stay up and cook for the next day sometimes even till after 9/10pm!!).  Even though it was something so small, it really was making a difference for me.  Then a few months ago, I decided to start showing her how I was cooking my meals – from start to finish.  So I would make a meal but have her next to me in the kitchen the whole time, and explain step by step what to do. I would then go through the steps and all the ingredients again and make sure she followed everything.  The next time that I wanted to make the dish, I would walk her through everything the day before, then write down all the ingredients and group them together the day before – the sauces, spices etc.  And then leave her to it.

Long story short, in the last two weeks, she has cooked THREE meals from scratch for me and they have tasted exactly like mine!  So not only am I now saving the time, but I’m still getting to eat food that tastes just the way I like it.  P is loving it – honestly, it’s like she’s on Masterchef.  She’s super proud of herself and also enjoys the food that she cooks as much as we do.  The hubster is super impressed and happy that I am going this route mostly because it just gives me a bit of a breather!  I mean, I can now come home and go for a run without having to rush home and cook before the sweat has even stopped rolling down my face, hehe.

Yes guys, I’m learning to let go!  And the benefits I’m seeing now already in these early stages are amazing!!!  🙂 🙂 🙂

Let go

 

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5 responses »

  1. halberts2014 says:

    Oh, I so hear you. I’m a bit of a control freak as well.
    It’s so nice to have someone help out a bit, just to give you an extra bit of time. I think sometimes we are too embarrassed to ask for help. It’s almost like admitting, “Hang on, I don’t actually HAVE this under control”
    Good on you Jodie. Good on you.

  2. debraaukett says:

    Oh my goodness, I could have written this piece on high expectations myself… I started running about 2 years ago and I got this crazy goal in my head to do my first half marathon in July, a day before my birthday and I’m training for it now… but gosh don’t know if I’ll make it… only up to 12km now. Also did not run this morning as I was so tired, so I stayed in bed a bit longer… but now I’m killing myself with regret looking at my Fitbit and not seeing the steps I would have had if I went out for my run.

    I guess we need to learn to be kind to ourselves too…

    • Jodie says:

      Oh I know that feeling – the steps I could have done, hahahaha. It’s become a mini obsession for me in itself, never mind the actual running!

  3. MamaCat says:

    Wow on the running, you are great. I have never managed to run past the 4 week mark.
    It is good that you are letting go. As Marcia points out on my blog, it is freedom.

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