The first time I can recall my mother talking to me about s-e-x was when is when I was 13years old.  I will never forget the day – although I’m pretty she has!!  She had picked me up from school (I was in a different school to my sister as I had just moved to high school), and we chatted in the car as usual on the way to fetch my sister.  When we got to the road that my sister’s school was in, she parked like 1,000kms from the front gate, and immediately I knew that something was up.  Why were we not pulling up in front of the school when there was no traffic or pick-up car line at all?!  I remember cringeing inside bracing myself for the worst.  And then she told me that she’d seen an e-mail trail between a boy and myself.  I shall not go into the detail of the talk, nor shall I go into the details of the relationship or the e-mail 😉 , but I can tell you that even though I was 13 and felt old enough to be doing the nonsense I was doing, I felt sooooo awkward sitting and listening to my mother talk about these things especially when she spoke about s-e-x and contraceptives!!

Having two boys, I have always thought it a good idea for their dad to talk to them about this subject.  Never did I think that it would be happening so soon though.  So no, we haven’t yet had to have the conversation with Ethan, however, over the past weekend, I heard Ethan mention the word S-E-X twice in passing.  I can’t even remember what it is that he said, but I immediately asked him what that word means and where he heard it from.  Of course he just shrugged and said I don’t know.  But if he knows the word, best believe somebody’s mentioned it, probably at school.  And there is absolutely no way I want my children to learn about things like this from their friends!  They need to hear about it from us.  In my opinion, it needs to be explained exactly for what it is…no made up words, no eluding to anything…it’s not a taboo thing and there are biological names for all the parts of our bodies.  Of course, it also needs to be explained at an age appropriate level, but nothing should shied away from in the conversation, maybe just put differently you know?!

The main thing freaking me out right now is that Ethan is not even 8 yet!  How is it that we are going to be having this conversation at this early an age?! 😦  I guess it’s the world we live in…

So tell me, have you spoken to your kids about this?

At what age did you do it, and more interestingly, how did they take it?

11 responses »

  1. halberts2014 says:

    I don’t remember my Mum chatting to me about this. I did however read a lot of her British encyclopaedias about the human body, perhaps she knew I was teaching myself.
    I have not had that chat with Liam yet. I’m dreading it. I don’t think DH will do it either. Secretly I’m looking for a book of sorts to teach him all about it. Each birthday and Christmas I look at books about the human body and how it work. Perhaps the chicken way of getting out of it.
    But you know, you are right. If he has heard the word perhaps you should chat to him. They say better your kids hear something from you rather than from another kid who hasn’t got a clue of it. Kids have some strange ideas about things.

    • Jodie says:

      I was also thinking of a book – my friend suggested the same.

      • halberts2014 says:

        Yeah, I think as long as you have that kind of relationship with your kid that they know they can ask you about ANYTHING. I think you have that with your boys. Liam has that with us. There are some goods human body books in the bookshops, so it doesn’t focus on just s-e-x. That kind of gets disguised next to something like “how the eye works”

      • Jodie says:

        Oi, I don’t want to hear that! The conversation a few weeks ago between the boys was that if they touch their balls (yes, our boys discuss these things with each other…), they’ll explode and apparently he read that in a book from his nana in Durban over the June holidays, hahahaha. I thought he was making it up, but maybe not 😉

      • halberts2014 says:

        Oh Jodie, I’m laughing at my desk right now. Of course, touching their balls is a thing, LOL. A bit scary to think what the kids are saying to each other. I have to watch it, because Liam is in Grade 4 but there are Grade 7 kids in the same aftercare, so things get a bit weird. But he knows he can ask us anything.
        PS – Nana might just have the book you need 😉

      • Jodie says:

        Nana has no idea what book I’m talking about and is glad she doesn’t have to do this again 😉

  2. MamaCat says:

    I think you need to keep talking about it. The same way they learn to eat and walk and talk, it happens all the time and is gradual and a normal part of life and learning. We have spoken about how girls and boys are different and that you need both to have a baby in the straight forward manner. We have spoken about his body being private and no one is allowed to touch it. Sex, specifically, wet have not got to completely. He understands about kissing, but that is about it. People who love each other touch and kiss. At this point, kissing is gross. So he is not quite interested.

  3. Louisa says:

    Yes, I have. Started cluing Nicola in from very young. Always age appropriare of course, but by 8 she knew exactly what was what. What she hasn’t learnt though is filters haha, I did tell her that each parent talks to their own child about it when they think they’re ready so she’s not allowed to tell anyone at school. I told her because we can always talk about anything. A rule I believe she’s kept to.

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