What happened after 21kms?

…will you be bummed if I told you NOTHING happened?!?!  Yup, nothing.

Anti-climax of note right?!?!!?!?!

No, I am not planning for my next 21km race, no I am not trying to run the next big distance, no I don’t have a marathon in mind.  In fact, on the contrary…

The week after the BIG 21KM, I didn’t run at all as I hurt my foot while running in the race, something I luckily only discovered once I had finished the race, gotten home and taken a shower.  In that week, I did two days of core and cardio exercise (anybody remember Taebo???…when I find a video online and do it, all I can think of is how the video looks about 100years old, hahahahaha) and that was it.  Mainly because of my injured foot.  But I would be lying if I said it was ONLY that.  Honestly, my mind just isn’t in it.  It’s like I worked so hard to hit a target, I achieved the target, and now I’m like…now what? Why am I running?  What’s the point? 

The week thereafter, I managed three runs plus a day of cardio.  All short runs, 3.5kms each.

Last week, I did the same and then on Sunday, I did a 6km run and well…I hurt my foot again 😦  So badly that I limped all of Sunday AND Monday and I’m still limping today.

It’s taken me a while to get over all the hype.  Proving to myself that I can!  Reaching the actual goal in such a short space of time.  Becoming a “runner”.  Then hitting a flat…

But when I got thinking, I realized that although I had a goal and wanted to reach that long distance, it’s really not what I want to do any time in the near future again.  Right now, I want to run better, faster, stronger.  I want to be able to run 10km without walking at all!  I want to improve my time.  And that’s okay!  Well, you may not think it’s okay, but I do, and that’s all that counts 🙂 🙂 🙂

Advertisements

Pray for your children

All the child trafficking stories, the tips going around on what to teach your children, even the schools teaching children about stranger danger – it makes me sick to the core!  We live in an evil world guys, there are terribly deranged people out there and our children are at risk every day.  After reading a million posts this morning around this issue, I actually feel like I want to go to my kids’ schools and pick them up, lock them in the house and never let them out again.  It’s just so sad!!

Yesterday, we were walking in a shopping centre – a quick in and out to grab some wet wipes for Riley for school.  The boys know to always stay close to me, but Riley walked off twice, just a few metres ahead and I had given him the go ahead to do so – once to throw a paper in the bin and another time to fetch the kiddies trolley for him to push in the shop.  Both times, a man approached him (two different men, different ages, different race, different dress sense…nothing at all to indicate that these two men were in any way related), put out his hand to high five him and just greeted – a simple hello.  My child looked so uncomfortable.  He mumbled a greeting to the first guy but looked down the entire time.  I was tempted to say – say hello Riley – I mean, when we were growing up, greeting people was expected especially a child having to greet an adult, whether you knew the person or not right?!  For some reason, I didn’t say anything, I just watched him.  And do you know what my child said to me once he had walked back to me…that’s stranger danger mum.  I don’t know that man so I’m not going to greet him.  At the age of THREE guys!!!  He’s aware of it.  He knows how to react.  And my heart jumped into my throat.  In that moment, I wanted to cry.

I’m not really going anywhere with this post, I’m just sharing how sad I feel about this whole situation.  I know that I serve a faithful God and that HIS angels are protecting my children every day.  Pray for your children guys.  Pray for them.  That no harm befalls them!

These are some pretty useful “tips” I saw on a FB post this morning that I’d like to share with you…

Teach your kids

Manners out the window

Find a mom with kids

Body secrets

Car

Lunch boxes

Scream.png

Code word.png

 

I did it!

I ran a half marathon…21kms AND I made it within the cutoff time of 3hours…that was my main concern!!  That I wouldn’t make it.  But I did it in 2hrs58min – talk about cutting it fine!!!!!!

Just because

A lot of people have asked me whether I enjoyed it?!  Not quite.  Guys, this Discovery Series thing is serious.  It’s not a fun run.  There’s no nice banners or gifts, people screaming and shouting along the way or music playing.  No!  People are in it to R.A.C.E!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So was it fun, no not really.

Did I enjoy running…like actually running…I’m not quite sure how to answer that.  The hills were like woah.  Post 12/13kms, the runners were so far spread out that I was literally running alone.  There’s no “camaraderie” so to speak.  At least for the first 10kms, people are cheerful, chatting, even throwing in the odd comment and egg’ing other runners on.  Thereafter, people are just focused on finishing the 21.1kms.  Full stop.

I AM proud of myself though and what I can say is that I set a goal that seemed totally unrealistic at the start and I achieved it.  In fact, a colleague reminded me yesterday of us chatting a few months ago in the kitchen – he suggested I run a 5km and I was absolutely shocked.  I told him that there’s no way I can run 5km and now a few months later, I’ve run 21kms 🙂  No I did not run the entire way, I did quite a bit of walking, but that’s my next step!  I want to be able to run the entire way.  Right now, I can run about 8kms without stopping #runninggoals.

What I was most chuffed about was that at not one point did I feel like giving up, that I couldn’t do it, or that it was too tough to complete.  My mind was totally in it and my body was prepared because of all the training I did.  When I felt very tired, I just had to reassure myself that I could do it – at times, that included me shouting out loud, things like only 5 more kilometres, you can do it, the people around me must have thought I was going mad, hahaha – at other times, I tried to equate the distance left to a route I knew from training…only 3kms left, this is just the big square you run in the week.

I did it guys, I did it!!!!  🙂 🙂 🙂

I’ve now run three out of the four races in the series.  I’m on the waiting list for the 4th race, another 21km but it doesn’t look like I’m going to make it and now I’m bummed that I won’t get the full set of medals 😦  But that’s okay!…

I RAN 21KMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Homework comes first!

I think I’ve mentioned before that we live in a complex with lots of kids.  This is one of the first things that attracted me to the complex.  I remember the first unit that I went to see…it was in an absolutely appalling condition…there was so much work that needed to be done IF you had the money to do it.  Then the estate agent told me that a friend was selling privately in the same complex and if I was interested, she could take me over to see it.  The first thing that caught my attention was the number of kids running around playing.  At the time (almost 6years ago!), I pushed Ethan in his pram up the driveway toward the unit, and I remember feeling this warm feeling.  Yes, THIS is how I wanted my kids to grow up.  Playing together with other kids in the complex in a safe, happy environment.

So we moved in, but at the time, the kids were quite a bit older than Ethan and Ethan was too young to really be playing with other kids.  About a year later, the neighbours across the way moved in and they had three kids – one a year older than Ethan and another two years older – the eldest was the same age as the other bigger kids in the complex.  Then a few weeks later, two houses up, another family moved in with a child the same age as Ethan and a baby on the way.  Fast forward years later and these kids have become my childrens’ best friends.  There are things that I don’t like about complex living like having ALL THE KIDS IN OUR YARD OVER THE WEEKENDS OR ALL OF THEM PLAYING X-BOX IN THE LOUNGE PLUS THE SMALLER ONES PLAYING WITH THE TOYS.  At one stage, this made me want to look at moving into a stand alone property, but the benefits far outweigh the “issues” so to speak.  And so we are happy in our little “village” and even happier that our kids are happy.

Ethan and his bestie D started grade 1 together this year at the same school.  They are not in the same class, but they play together every.single.day.  D is not into sport at all.  He plays sports with the other kids in the complex from time to time, but he has no interest in playing any sport at school, neither does he participate in any cultural extra murals.  Ethan on the other hand is obsessed with sport!  And the school encourages that each child does at least one sport and one cultural activity…we listen…he does both.  D’s parents both work full day and have no support structure or help at home.  As a result, he goes to aftercare after school.  At aftercare, they do homework first so when he gets home after 4, he is free to play until home time.

The other neighbours who go to a different school are muslim and attend madrasa at the mosque every day after school.  Because of the time that it starts, they are unable to juggle extra mural activities, so as a result, they also don’t do any sport or cultural events at school at all.  They get home after school and do their homework, then head off to the mosque.  Once they return from the mosque at around 5, they are also free to play until home time.

Ethan gets home after his extra mural for the day – currently, he has something every day except Friday.  And this is not forced activities, he has chosen to do these things as he enjoys them!  When he gets home, there are usually no other kids home as yet (except maybe Riley on some days when they get fetched together), and so the first thing he does is his homework because well…homework comes first!  This is usually basic maths and English.  Our nanny assists where she can and checks to the best of her ability, but I like to do his spelling test every day when I get home and also his reading – this is usually done after bathtime.  Let me just stress here that currently, Ethan’s homework doesn’t take long, perhaps half an hour if he sits and does it in one go.  The way we split it, it’s usually 15minutes when he gets home and another 15minutes after bathtime.

Then there is the odd bit of homework that’s “extra”.  This week, it’s preparation for book character day on Thursday.  His outfit was sorted a few weeks ago as Riley had the same event at school two weeks ago, and so I thought it easiest to buy everything at once.  But the actual preparation around the oral hasn’t been done.  So we started it yesterday.  When I got home, he was busy playing.  So I told him that he had till 5:30, at which time he needed to come in, make some corrections to his homework, and start his oral preparation.  When I called him in at 5:30, there were no issues.  He started the corrections and then we started with the oral.  About 5minutes into the oral preparation, the sulking started.  He wanted to know whether he would still have time to play with his friends.  He was getting all teary when I corrected him on the way he was saying things.  And it went downhill from there!  Of course we got through it, but by the time we reached 6pm, I sent him to his room to pull himself together.  He was full on crying.  Crying over homework guys!!!!  Anyway, we quickly got over that and moved on with the evening.

On the way to school this morning, I reminded him that after our morning prayer and listening to the pop quiz on the radio (I can’t help it – I need to listen to it every day, hehe), we were going to continue preparing for the oral, afterall, we drive for 20minutes…why not be productive!!  [Let me add here that we often read a book or do some maths practise in the car in the morning, so doing school stuff in the car is not foreign to him].  2minutes into it, he started getting teary again.  He didn’t understand why he needed to do this now in the car.  He also started getting stroppy with me, saying things like – why do I need to say that, you said it mustn’t be like that, I’ve already said that before why must I say it again.  Boy child is so lucky I was driving ‘cos at that point, I had just about lost it.  So I gave him a long lecture about homework and why it’s important.  How all the other kids have homework too, but because they don’t do extra murals, they finish it at a different time.  How he had all day to play at school and weekends and holidays to play all day with his friends but that during term, it was important to work hard to get good marks and a good report.  I also maayyyy have slipped in that a good report resulted in rewards…bribery and corruption, it’s a real thing with kids y’all!!!  Then I explained how we’re only doing what’s best for him and excelling at school and trying your best is very important.  Fortunately, he took the lecture very well, and by the time he got out of the car, he was all chirpy and ready for the day.

How do your kids cope with homework?

More importantly, how do YOU cope with homework?

All I can think about is how conscientious Ethan is.  Generally, he’s very diligent and loves school and the school work that goes with it.  But if he’s already starting to moan now, how will it be a few years on where there will probably be little to no play time in the week???

First world problems

On the radio this morning, they were discussing some really odd first world problems…sending a key home via uber, sharing a puppy after a divorce via uber, hmmm.

Then they asked the listeners to give a first world problem of their own.  I have so many guys, honestly!  And I’m well aware of them even in the midst of complaining…I own them 🙂  But one at the forefront of my mind this morning is something my mum brought up yesterday.  It’s not really a problem, more of a pain, inconvenience, waste of time etc., but I thought I would share it here, maybe get others opinions, some suggestions to make it “easier” for me?!?!  This is first world world problem related to food…

I would say that generally (although my mother would disagree!), we all eat the same thing.  I plan my meals for the week ahead on the weekend before, and shop accordingly.  This week’s menu is as follows;-

  • Monday:  grilled fish, savoury rice and roasted vegetables
  • Tuesday:  chicken stirfry
  • Wednesday:  beef pasta
  • Thursday:  pork bangers, mash and beans
  • Friday:  sweetcorn pasta
  • Saturday:  braai
  • Sunday:  roast beef, roast potatoes, roasted veggies

Easy peasy lemon squeezy?!?!  Yup.  BUT, there’s a leetle eensy weensy first world problem here…

The hubster does not eat seafood as he is allergic.  So tonight, I have taken out a piece of steak to substitute the fish for him.

P, our nanny, doesn’t eat pork at all.  So on Thursday, I will substitute the pork bangers with steak for her (I’ve bought a pack of two steaks for this week…one piece for the hubster tonight and one for her on Thursday).

The kids won’t eat the sweetcorn pasta – which the hubster has been begging for for a few weeks now – on Friday as they don’t like mayonnaise which is the sauce that I use in the pasta, they don’t eat tomatoes and they don’t eat green peppers.  They basically only eat the sweetcorn 🙂  So on Friday, I will pop chicken pops and chips into the oven for them.

In addition to the above, I don’t eat lamb (personal preference, I don’t enjoy the taste of it).  

Now my mum says it’s too much effort and I cook too many different options.  Also that it takes up too much time.  But for me, the only other alternative is to only eat chicken and beef as that’s the only meat that we ALL eat.  How boring right?!?!  Or not…

I don’t know…what would you do?  Would you cook multiple options like I do? 

There are nights when I don’t do that and the person who doesn’t eat the meat for that day will just eat the veggies and starch/carbs.  But this has become part of my usual routine so I honestly don’t see it as much effort.  Also, just to mention, this doesn’t happen every week (again, my mother would disagree here!).  The week before last, we all ate the same dinner every night.  And last week, there was only one night where I made something different for the kids as we had a thai chicken curry and Riley doesn’t eat curry yet.

Some things I’ve learnt while running

Yes, this running thing again!

With less than two weeks to go until my first 21km race, I’m just a tad bit nervous.  But I ran 17.67km all by myself on Saturday…the furthest I’m going to get before then…and while I ran FOR 2HOURS 45MINUTES, I had loads of time to just think 🙂 🙂 🙂  I should actually run with a dictaphone or something to that effect…then I can dictate all of my thoughts and replay them afterwards ‘cos the mind does wonder a.lot when all you have is the open road and the sound of passing cars!!!  Anyway, I digress.  So here’s some thing I’ve learnt along my journey;-

  • Running is a hell of a mental thing!…within reason of course.  I mean, you can’t very well make yourself think you can run the comrades and then run it with zero training under your belt.  Okay, maybe you can, but I don’t think your body will manage.  Anyway, not even 6months ago, I wasn’t even able to walk a short distance of 2km without being out of breathe, and well, here I am…17kms and going strong 🙂  Fortunately I’ve had lots of other runners encouraging me and giving me advise, but I’m mainly able to do this because I’ve convinced my brain that I can.
  • For the most part, cars (and even taxis) are actually quite “friendly” towards runners…they let you cross the road even if their robot has just turned green, they move out of the way when you’re running on the only inch of side road available, and they even slow down if they see you approaching them.  Again, not all, but for the most part, that’s been my experience.
  • The odd wave from runners and even the toot from a car or whistle of a worker actually encourages me…I know that as a women, cars hooting and whistling from a worker on the side of the road can feel a bit intimidating, but I find that it really spurs me on.  I feel like I’m not really alone out on the road…or maybe I am and I’m just losing the plot, hehe.  In a race, having the marshals and crowds on the sides cheering really makes a difference!!  Again, it helps me with the mental part of running…
  • Snacks and water along the way definitely help…for shorter distances, I seem to be fine but anything after 8km gets hard and I find that I need liquids and even just a small sugar injection – fruit seems to work quite fine and on the first race I did two weekends ago, the oranges that they provided were exactly what I needed at that point.
  • When your body says no, listen to it!…not only in a race, but even during training.  Last week, I had a short run (listen to me…short run, 5kms, hahahaha *superwoman*) planned for Tuesday and then an 8km run planned for Thursday.  This all leading up to my planned weekend run of 14km+.  When it got to Wednesday night, I was literally dreading my planned run for the next day.  All of Thursday, I felt like I never wanted to even see a running shoe again.  I tried all day to stop thinking about it, and when I realised that wasn’t going to help, I tried to “get my head in the game” and prepare myself for it, but I found myself leaving work later than planned and almost trying to create excuses not to go.  And then I just didn’t!  I spent the afternoon/evening catching up with my folks over a glass of wine, and we all had dinner together.  And you know what – I didn’t die!  I missed a run, but I think it’s just what my body needed, a break!!  Afterall, I’ve been training solidly for the last few months, come hell or high water.  I realised that I needed to listen to my body and it was the best thing I could have done.

I wish I could say that this will be my last post on running, but I don’t know if I can promise that!  I can at least promise not to bore you in my next post with similar content…it’s about time you read about something else other than ME.  Hahaha.

Have a good week y’all xxx

We’re going road tripping!

Okay, not extreme road tripping but on a hell of a long journey for us at any rate 🙂

For the September/October school holidays, we’ve decided to mission with the kids to PE.  The last time all four of us were there, Riley was around 6months old and Ethan 3.5years old.  BOTH kids were sick, we shared a room with them both and were even in the ER on a public holiday!  Those were the days when we would holiday and without fail, while on holiday, the kids would get sick…and not just regular flu sick, but like bronchitis sick!!!

Years later, we’ve finally been able to holiday without kids falling apart (touch wood) and with them being older and their cousins being older too, I’m really looking forward to this trip.

Today I booked our accommodation on the road as we’re splitting the journey in half.  The distance from Jo’burg to PE is +/- 1,000km, and where we would have easily done that drive in one day “pre-kids”, I really don’t want to subject the kids to a 11hour+ drive.  The last time we went to PE, we flew, but flights are just so expensive!!  I’ve been holding on for a while for specials, but nothing has come up that is even close to the cost of driving.  So drive we will!

At least we have something exciting to look forward to, and the kids are super chuffed that we’ll be going away for their next school holiday 🙂 🙂 🙂

#Blog Squad (thanks Helen!)

I have so much that I want to blog about, but words guys, words…they’re just escaping me!  I know, sooooo unlike me!!!  Anyway, to try and get the mind going again, I thought I’d jump on the blog questions that Helen over at Helen_77 shared this morning.  Totally random, but I’m a real sucker for these type of things 🙂 🙂 🙂 so here goes…

  1. What time did you go to bed last night and were you alone? 10:30pm – later than usual but I couldn’t put the book I was reading, Little Fires Everywhere, down!  I went to bed alone – the hubster usually watches tv till he’s tired and jumps in later in the night so going to bed alone is normal for me.
  2. If you could be given ANY gift what would it be? More time.
  3. What was the last film that really moved/disturbed/thrilled you and why? I honestly cannot recall, I don’t watch that much tv and have found that lately, all of the movies we’ve watched have been so average!
  4. What is your favourite TV show of all time ie. you’ve seen them all, can watch it over and over again and quote lines from it? I can’t say I can remember words or quotes from any TV shows but I really do enjoy Greys Anatomy, Shameless (the American one) and Orange Is The New Black.  And then locally – Lockdown.
  5. Whats your favourite way to wake up and whats the first thing you do? To wake up on the weekend while everybody is still sleeping and just lay in silence taking my time to fully wake up.  It usually lasts all of 15minutes, and then I get bombarded by my boys with hugs and kisses ❤ ❤ ❤
  6. What would you call yourself if you could choose your own name? Superwoman – hahahaha.  I really don’t know.  I really didn’t like my name while growing up by I cannot imagine my name being anything else but JODIE.
  7. If you had to do a bushtucker challenge (you have to eat insects/grubs etc) what would be the worst thing you had to eat? G-ROSS!!!!  Everything would be my worst thing to eat – no.thank.you.
  8. Whats the worst/most embarrassing CD/Album you’ve ever owned and do you still have it? Can’t think of any.
  9. What would be your dream vehicle (bikes, cars, boats, bat car and millenium falcon is allowed!)? I’m really not into cars, but if I really had to choose, it would be some sort of SUV.
  10. Whats your favourite way to spend a Friday night? With a good book and a glass of wine.
  11. What characteristics do you dislike in yourself? My need to be perfect at every.single.thing.
  12. Your favourite item of clothing and why? I actually have quite a few favourites in my wardrobe but again, if I had to choose, I have a casual black dress which I bought from Cotton On in my cupboard.  It’s absolutely plain – no decorations, no specific style etc.  But it’s really really comfortable and it can be paired with sandals, pumps and takkies.  Plus because it’s black, any jersey or jacket goes with it.  And most importantly, any earrings match too (my latest addiction :-)).
  13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be and who would it be with? An island holiday with my husband…this is currently in planning phase…
  14. If you could have any animal/creature, what would be your ultimate pet be?None!
  15. What did you want to be when you were little and do you think you ever will be? A famous pianist.  No, not a chance unfortunately 😦
  16. Whats the next planned event you’re looking forward to in your life? A few small things here and there like dinner with friends this weekend and my first 21km race.  But the biggest one in the near future is a trip to PE over the September school holidays.
  17. What were you doing before you started this?  I was in a meeting at work – I’m just taking a 5minute breather now 🙂
  18. What was the last thing you ate that you really shouldn’t have? Lindt chocolate mousse for dessert at a work dinner last night.
  19.  If you were an ice cream what would you be? Definitely chocolate – my FAVOURITE ice-cream!!!!
  20. Who was the last person you spoke to that you didn’t want to talk to? Sjoe, no idea.  I like talking to everybody.
  21. What was your favourite toy as a child . . .and now? I actually have no recollection of a favourite toy as a child. I would say that now…it’s my cellphone (if you could all that a toy?!).
  22. What are you really afraid of? Dying #enoughsaid

This running thing

You’re going to have to forgive me for all this ranting and raving about this running thing, but it’s right now part of my “current” so to speak.

So you all know by now that I’ve been running up a storm and training for the races that I have coming up in the next few weeks.  I’ve run 14kms every Saturday for the last 3weeks so I think I’m doing well?!  But I still have to up that distance for my target big run which is now less than a month away *yikes*.

Am I prepared…not yet!  I can at least tick off my takkies though – they’re perfect 🙂  Blisters are no longer an issue in my life.  The socks I use are also absolutely fine.  What I’m battling with (and it feels like trial and error at the moment!) is the following;

  • Water…basically, hydration during training.  While I know that during races, there are water stations, unfortunately during my training, there are none 😦  Up to about 10kms, I’m fine…but thereafter, I definitely need some water.  I’m not too keen on running with a water bottle in my hand even though I know you get those bottle that have a hand grip in them.  So this weekend, I took a drawstring bag with me.  From the start, it annoyed me.  Firstly it was bouncing up and down against my back so I used a hair band to tie the straps around my waste-ish area.  That worked for a little while but then after about 2/3kms, it started bobbing up and down again until eventually, the straps had moved up and were chafing my shoulder.  So for the balance of my run, I alternated between holding the straps (meaning my hands and arms were tied up), tying it up again with my hairband or just taking it off my shoulders and jogging with it.  Then to open the bag up and actually get the water bottle out…arrgghhh.
  • Pants…I have three different pairs of running pants.  They’re all from Mr Price, all long tights, but they’re different styles.  The one, although the same size as the others, is a thicker material – more suited for winter – but is literally tighter than my stockings making it fine for the shorter distances but quite stifling for the longer distances.  The other two are proper tights material (is it lycra?!?!), but for some reason, one of them chafes so bad that I literally cannot walk after running 14kms 😦  So the third one seems to work okay…for now.
  • Routes…is the whole of Jo’burg hilly?????  My training is all done on hills – Buccleuch seems to have been built on a mountain, literally.  The surrounding areas are somewhat less hilly, but still nowhere near flat.  Finding a flat area to run on is virtually impossible.  Where I know that this will make me stronger for my races, I really just want to run a flat!  Also, how does a person have longer training sessions during the week…it gets dark so early and in the morning, it’s too dark to go running before the school dropoff 😦  My neighbour did say that apparently nobody trains in winter and I shouldn’t be doing it this of the year but hey…
  • Aches and pains…it’s amazing how, on a normal day, I feel fit as a fiddle then the minute I start running, something starts paining.  A sign that running isn’t good for you?!?!  Heh.  If it’s not my ankle, then it’s my knee, or an arm, my shins – something always hurts.  Maybe I should call this more of a niggle ‘cos it’s not bad enough to not want to run and mentally, I seem to be able to refocus elsewhere and continue, but is this normal???  I do warm up before and do a proper stretch once I’m done running, but I still get these aches and pains.
  • Strength training…I have no idea how to go about doing strength training in between my runs!  The logical thing for me is to train in the gym but I don’t have a gym membership and cannot afford one.  Motivating myself at home to actually run is more than my little brain can cope with – I have no idea how can do anything else and how to wrap my head around that!!

I need some advice…anybody have some valuable input on the above points???

BTW, I asked Ethan last week whether he would say that his mother is a runner if somebody asked – his response – NO, BECAUSE YOU DON’T RUN, YOU JOG, hehe.  Clever boy!!

Hi, I’m Jodie and I have sleep issues…

Guys, I am TIRED.  Exhausted.  Even my tired is tired.  Like I could crawl into bed and sleep for 1,000 years.  The sad part…I can’t!  My body just doesn’t know how to sleep.  Strange hey?!?!  Even after incorporating running into my week (I ran 14km’s on Saturday guys, 14km!!!), I still can’t sleep.

Have I always been a bad sleeper?  I’m not sure, I can’t remember how I slept in school.  But I do know that since university, I’ve slept badly.  I recall visiting my doctor in first year and complaining about sleep.  He suggested, at one stage, that I change my sleeping and sleep during the day when nobody was around (I’m a very light sleeper so we put the bad sleep down to me not being able to sleep with all the res noise in the nights), then stay up all night studying.  Now that I think about it, WHO SUGGESTS THAT?  Anyway, I didn’t do that.  I think I took a few sleeping tabs to get some good nights in and that was that.  I continued sleeping badly.  I remember being so upset about not being able to sleep that I’d literally sit and pull at my hair crying.  So has this been a problem for a while…hmmm, I think so.

I don’t recall what my sleep patterns were like after varsity and pre-children, but of course, once I had Ethan, he kept me up for 3.5years and well, my body got used to that lack of sleep.  Ethan is turning 7 this year, Riley has been sleeping through the night since week 6/7 and here I am…still unable to sleep.

Google says I have chronic insomnia.  In fact, I’m so frustrated that I even googled insomnia and this is what I got…

Insomnia
Insomnia is an experience of inadequate or poor quality sleep characterized by one or more of the following:

  • difficulty falling asleep
  • difficulty maintaining sleep
  • waking up too early in the morning
  • nonrefreshing sleep

Insomnia also involves daytime consequences such as:

  • tiredness
  • lack of energy
  • difficulty concentrating
  • irritability

Yup, that’s me right there!  All of the above.

Would it surprise you to know that I literally wake up an average of 4 times a night? Sometimes I go to sleep and when the hubster gets into bed 2hours later, I am still laying awake in the darkness.  My kids don’t wake up at all, so there is really no need for me to be up.  Yet there I am, laying awake unable to sleep.  Today, I was awake at 4am…for no reason.  I can’t anymore.  I.am.soooooooo.tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m really hoping that this is a THIS TOO SHALL PASS phase but something tells me it isn’t 😦 😦 😦

H.E.L.P!!!!!!